Don’t be fooled by this post.

Its enough that 2010 is already an important year for me. Its an important year for my younger sis too.

Its enough that I’m responsible for my own education. It infuriates me that I’d get blamed if my sister fails her PSLE.

Is it not enough that I am trying my best to pay attention in school and do well for my tests? & at the same time try to set aside time to teach both my sister and brother?

Is it too hard for her to change her attitude so that my task would be easier?

Oh, and did I mention that my uncle was the one who put me up to this, to tutor my sister? That he called me and told me that God gave me a gift & I should help people with it, as God can easily take it away?

Did I mention that I cried after that phonecall and my mum pretended not to notice the tears?

I’m tired.

Yesterday, my class got held back during assembly because I was talking to Melanie and Jasmine. Mr Lee mentioned something that hit me really hard.

“If you want people to change how people look at you, you must change.”

At that moment, I remembered something from last year that I’d told people. I joined the Combined Science class to prove to people that CS people can make it, to change people’s perspective that we are not just a bunch of hooligans who don’t care about studies and it seems that now after one year, I failed. I felt so disappointed in myself.

I know I changed, but whether the change was good or bad, I cannot determine it myself.

I’m gonna go ahead and allow myself to wallow in self-pity for a while.

Syuhada, you are such a failure.

You concentrate on your studies, yeah its good but now you’ve changed to become part of a class that both teachers and students look down on. You have no idea what to do.

Fuck you, why can’t you lose some weight?

& what is up with that arrogance when you impulsively shout out the answers to teachers’ questions? The speed of thinking is not intelligence itself. Syuhada, you’re not intelligent. You’re just someone who studies when you’re supposed to and try to do well in exams. And everyone thinks you’re some kind of genius. but really you’re not.

So fuck you. SYUHADA IS JUST A FAT, UNINTELLIGENT, ARROGANT GIRL.

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On the other hand, I love the fact that that negativity only comes out once in a while.

Only when you embrace your flaws, will you embrace reality.

I LOVE ME

Watch this video and I guarantee that’ll you’ll immediately feel good, if not better. ENJOY:)

Don’t lie!

Steven is one dumb Tiger Woods.

Maybe…

I should just start posting photos only.

Neeeehhhhhhhh, that’ll be even more boring than it already is.

Sec 4 life =homework, tests, tests, busy, busy, BUSY

Performance yesterday was ok…

Have I lost weight?!! No.

Maybe its the lighting or the fact that I’m wearing black but my face kinda looks slimmer. Hmm…

Is it me, or is that a very unflattering photo?

I cannot remember what I was doing, I swear.

For the first time in 2010,

I wanna cry my eyes out and wet my pillow.

I wish you were here

Whoever did this experiment has a lot of time lol. & yeah I am talking about someone that I miss in my title.

To Hidayah: actually he said it kind of jokingly so I dont think he meant it at all. Oh well who needs taken guys like him? When you can have single guys like a certain someone…

OH WAIT, one last thing

RAH RAH AH AH AH

Mikhail asked me to be his date for prom.

Now, under normal circumstances, a teeenage girl would be ecstatic if a teenage guy asked her out. But I just burst out laughing. Cause, I would just be a stand-in if his girlfriend(from another school) couldn’t come. So he was like,

“So whats your answer?”

“No,” I replied with a the best straight face I could manage.

& then I burst out laughing again.

Besides, I’d probably go to prom with my girlfriends.

I HEART GG. JEREMY, YOU NEVER EVEN GAVE IT A CHANCE.

Woah. What just happened?