Nothing’s wrong but only somethings are right.

Hey, to you people who actually reads this shitty piece blog.

So, this is it. The final weekend before the Ordinary Levels. For some reason, I’m not as stressed as I thought I should be. I mean, I’m supposed to be freaking out right now. But I have not commited myself fully to just mugging my heart out.

What I’m feeling is actually kind of frightening, to me at least. I feel like throughout these past two years, I’ve been on a lucky streak. In terms of academic achievements. Like maybe God is going to take away that streak anytime. What if that time is the Os? What if I disappoint everyone who’s ever counted on me? Now, this is just edging on the brink of paranoia but an insecurity at this point is inevitable, right?

Which brings me to this next point: School. I’ve officially graduated from Ngee Ann Secondary School a week ago. But before that there were some things that happened that had me feeling remorseful for what I said on impulse. This has always been a huge problem of mine. I can’t seem to control this mouth. Just a few days ago I said something obnoxious in front of several people. Lets just say it has to do with academics.

To those people: I’m sorry if I disgusted you with my words. I’m disgusted myself.

Anyway, school. I must say I’m generally okay in my studies, just that I need to work on my languages & combined humanities. Right now, I’m focusing more on my better subjects, which is definitely not a good strategy. I’ve also been helping out a bunch of other people. This is a sensitive area to touch on. The joy I get to see on people’s faces when I manage to help them understand something is very satisfying. But lately I’ve been spending too much time helping others, I fear for my own studies. But I tell myself that I believe in karma, so, we’ll see how it goes.

And if I don’t help, I’ll be called snobby & selfish but oh well.

Anyway, I’ve been having study dates with my peeps, & I’ve realized that I really love them. They really understand me & always make me feel good about myself. I LOVE YOU ALL.

Another thing I’d like to get off my chest is this:

I may not have boys falling all over me, but at least I can stand on my own two feet.

I may not be cool, but at least I have lovely friends.

I may not be popular or rich or incredibly good-looking or all three but at least I have a roof over my head & have working organs.

I may not wear a DSLR camera around my neck or wear Ray-Bans to protect my precious eyes, but that doesn’t mean you can deem me to be a loser & chuck me to one side.

I may not be a messed-up person but I still have my own little problems & make my own mistakes.

Whatever I may not be, I’m certain I’m a normal human being.