Archive Page 2
10 million fireflies
I don’t know what is going on. There are so many things going on inside my head, I don’t know which emotion to feel at any one point of time. Confused? Hurt? Angry? Depressed? I really don’t understand what happened.
I dreamt that my dad sat us down and started criticizing us, his own children. When he got to me, something happened and he had to go but not before turning around and calling me ugly but smart. Then, I either woke up and cried or I cried in my dream. I know Dad wouldn’t actually do that but all day his words kept ringing in my mind.
Imagine the impact the words have on my self-esteem.
And Shafique, that was why I was so PMS-ey just now.
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Tags: life
The groom’s bride is a whore
Have you ever felt that you’ve given your best for something but your best just wasn’t enough? You feel like quitting. Its a horrible feeling but you still have to move on with life. You can’t possibly stop time. So, to a certain guy, if you’re reading this, don’t despair and don’t give up. Pick yourself up and work harder 
Don’t judge this video by the title, because what it actually is might surprise you.
I’ve been known to avoid people on msn, replying smses with very short text and all that. It makes people, like Tauhidah mad at me(haha). But I just want people to know that just because I ignore you, doesn’t mean that I don’t care. I’m just lazy.
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Tags: friends, life
So generally, my common tests resuts were good. I passed my Malay again YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY
A few more weeks till September hols and I can’t wait to recharge and catch up on my e.math, I’m waaaaaaaaaaaaaay behind. Oh and its Ramadan already, the purest month of the year. Hopefully, it’ll be better than last year.
Sitting beside Hamka isn’t so bad, he’s hilarious and he’s so happy all the time, I don’t know how he does it. He says, he doesn’t see the point of frowning. Wow.
Mum has a babysitting job for this annoying 10-year-old who lives in the same block as us. He’s such a bad influence to my brother and he won’t share his toys but take my brother’s at his own free will. But what infuriates me the most is his mother whom Mum has told countless of times that she can’t babysit him anymore because she has to take care of her own FOUR children. But she just wouldn’t back down. She even beg to Mum, who finally gave in. Mum has to babysit him cause his mother has to work all the time. But actually, got other family members at home, but that kid doesn’t want to stay at home with them.
EFFING MESSED-UP
Got scolded by Miss Lavania for talking too much in class. For the record, I don’t talk alot because I got high marks for the common tests. I just talk alot. ahahhahahaha
Was walking near the Cafe with Sumardi and Shi Yong and met Gandhi who ask me to sit down, and I was like,”You’re the one who haven’t talk to me in months and you’re asking me to sit down?!!” Then blablabla, he insulted me then I stood up and left cause if there is one thing that I can’t stand about that guy is that he will insult me, then apologize and do it again. So bloody annoying. Insincere much?
HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY SIS!!!
I am so happy for you and so proud that you’ve finally taken school seriously. You’ve done great. I wish you all the best for life and all the best to you and Haikal. I LOVE YOU!!!
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Tags: friends, life, school
IGNORANCE IS MY NEW BEST FRIEND
Common tests are finally over. I didn’t put in much effort as I was playing runescape most of the time that I was supposed to be studying.
Just looked at my thighs just now while I was listening to the Top 20 countdown on 987. Fuck, they were HUGE, not that I just realized that just that I REALLY noticed it. I’m so disgusted with myself. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I send a message to the Muttons like last week I think cause they were someone mentioned NAPFA retest so I said,”Hey Muttons, 2.4 run IS hard. I hyperventilated the other day.” And my message got read out, with Vernon saying, “Good la, who ask you to run?” and then he broke off into a story about running during his secondary school years when he would cheat.
That was entertaining but you have to hear it yourself.
Ok I shall go rs now.
LEVEL 58 ALREADY MANZXZXZXZXZX
i miss maisarah…
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Tags: school, runescape, life, 987fm, friends, Muttons
I’m using school laptop lol. Just talked to Hong like 10 seconds ago who’s in the library right now for photo-taking session. Mine’s like later sooo….
Anyway, I have no idea who to stand next to for the fun shot for photo taking later.
There’s math supplementary right now but I’m one of the lucky few who don’t need to attend. Yayee
Weibin’s beside me right now, playing maple -.-
I would play runescape now but I don’t know I guess there’s no privacy here in the school library. Level 57 already lol
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Tags: life, school
Quick update.
I made it up with Shahidah this morning.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHAI!!!!
Today’s also the anniversary of sth bad that happened last year. People might ask why I would wanna remember a bad incident. But its kinda memorable for me.
Anyway, as soon as I got the reply from Shai. I grinned to myself. I was just so happy. On the way to school I kept smiling to myself. People must hav thought I was mad.
Ok, gtg see ya.
(Today’s National Day Celebration was WAAAAAAY better than last year’s)
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Tags: 9th August, life, National Day, school, Shahidah, Singapore
Title’s linked to something that pissed me off a bit today.
So, its my second day of skipping school. Nah, not really, I’m genuinely sick. Missed a lot of stuff I guess. Yesterday, I was supposed to have my Geography test but the night before, I freaked out because I still had a lot to study. And I was so scared I’d fail the test that I cried and cried all night, worrying about how I wasn’t prepared and how my parents are gonna be soooo disappointed with me.
You see, one of my roles as a daughter in this family was to make my parents proud of my results. Its kinda like a norm. Most of the times I’m okay with that but it some times takes a toll on me. People EXPECT me to get good grades. People EXPECT me to go far in life in terms of studies. People EXPECT me to be the geeky fat kid who always topped the class. It all boils down to this-EXPECTATIONS. I’m sick of it.
I know I can’t avoid taking the test, but I guess I just need more time.
I have chemistry test today, but I haven’t recovered yet soooo, ya.
Anyway, on a side note, my brother LOVES nigahiga. Especially the wolverine spoof by him.
A once-in-a-lifetime chance to see Zhou Hao wearing specs. HAHA
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Tags: life, school
I know I haven’t posted in a while, well, not just a while, a LONG while. Its just that I’ve been playing runescape a lot these days. And, I’ve been slacking in school(Yeah, I slack). Actually ever since the term started I’ve been really disorganized. I feel that my life is in a mess right now, not because of problems, just that I don’t know what my priorities are. And I blame runescape myself for playing runescape too much.Level 56 lol
CONCERT IS OVER YEAH! I bloody screwed up my roll. And I know Julian is somewhere in the audience so I dunno, I have a feeling that he’ll laugh at me or something the next time we meet. Fuck. Back stage I was so bloody nervous(did I mention that I have stage fright?), my hands were shaking sooo badly, Alfred offered to hold the snare drum for me first. I was lucky that I didn’t hyperventilate right there and then.
I really do have obssessive compulsive behaviour. And its annoying me and getting in the way of me going on with my life but I cannot do anything about it. Once I’ve decided to like wake up and check to make sure that all the lights are switched off, I cannot stop my feet from getting up even if I’m dead tired. I don’t know what to do. It usually doesn’t happen at school, only at home.
Ran my 2.4 the other day. And I was so proud of myself cause I could run 0ne full round without stopping! Maaaaaybe it doesn’t sound very impressive but it gave me a sense of achievement. and my timing was 20 min 30 sec, waaaay better than last year. The next day was the concert and that was when I started feeling the aches and pain (haha, I sound like I’m advertising for Panadol). SO, in addition, to my stage fright, I was feeling very tired. Bah whatever.
I AIM TO LOSE MORE WEIGHT. NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES.
And (you might laugh) yeah, I’ve lost a bit of weight since the hols, just that its not exatly noticeable.
I was late for school the other day by like 1 minute? And the school called my dad, and he scolded me for having no sense of urgency. I mean come on la, I was looking for my math notes before I left so I was a lil bit late. But he didn’t have to scold me like that and pass sarcastic remarks.
Anyways, he applied a bursary for me for Home Team NS. And I will get 750 bucks if it was successful. AAAAAND, if it is, I could buy a new phone! Materialistic am I? I’ve been eyeing N97 which is my dream phne. I used to think f480 was, until I found out what wi-fi was and how my phone didn’t have it. If I have that phone I could have a facebook account and a twitter account(which I have been wanting for a looong time), and I could update it regularly. The only reason I don’t have them now is because I rarely use my laptop for anything other than runescape and homework. As you can see, I don’t regularly update this blog.
So ya, thats it. And I have some pictures but I doubt they’re very interesting. Taaa
Shi Yong playing Sharisse's violin. HAHA
Oh ya, and Tauhidah dislocated her knee(ouch)
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Tags: CO, friends, life, runescape
This week is one of my most unluckiests weeks ever.
CO yesterday was ok, I think that the SYF closing ceremony is a really MAJOR event. It could have been any year that we got GWH but it was this year. It could also have ben any year that they chose COs for the concert but it was this year. 2009.
Went to ’study’ with peeps White Sands Mcd. Crapped there and of course we didn’t do any studying. I only managed to do a lil bit of my POA homework. Went to Pasir Ris Town Park and lepak there. Then something happened.
We were like laughing and laughing and sitting on one of these:
and two girls from a soccer team approached us and asked whether we were interested in joining. Of course I immediately pointed to Zulaiha. Then they continued and said that if we were interested we could give our numbers to the person in red as they pointed to their team mate across the field. That Natasya asked, “What gender?” and we started laughing and I said,”Of course she la, its a girls soccer team.”(we only asked because she really has short, SHORT hair like a guy’s). THEN ONE OF THEM PEOPLE WHO APPROACHED US WAS LIKE “HE/SHE LA.”
And they walked away.
I thought it was over but a few minutes later, the other two team mates confronted us about that he/she thing. I did’t want any trouble so I said it sort of slipped out but at that time I couldn’t remember that it wasn’t any of us who said it, it was her team mate herself. Sure N asked the question but we didn’t ask her team mate to say the he/she thing. I’m gonna post what I remembered of her ‘lecture’ to us.
“My team mates said that you were jeering at us. If you jeer at them, you’re jeering at me because I’m the captain and they are under me. I don’t like the way you speak to them. Even if it slipped out, you dont expect us to sthsthsth. We all have our own passions. We took the iniative to come over here and ask you all but you guys jeer at us.What do you think you should do now? Please mind your words. We are not small kids. If I see you outside with ten other people I won’t be afraid. You wanna fight me, I’m not scared cause I’m a straightforward person. I can call your parents to come here you know. So please mind you words. We are fellow malays we still have adat(i dont actually know the english transalation of this word but its sth along the lines of tradition and practices). I may be wearing FBT shorts but I still have my adat. We’re not small kids, we’re not 15, 16 year-olds. Please mind your words. How old are you guys?”
Me: 15
“What school you from.”
Farahin: Junyuan.
“Where is that?”
Me & Farahin: Tampines
“Whatever it is just mind your words cause we’re not scared of you. Whats your name?”
Me: Syuhada
-they can’t even pronounce my name. haha.-
“Hello, I’m Mel and this is Zac(points to the one with the red shirt). If you guys wanna like baik-baik with us its ok. Thanks for your cooperation and please, just mind your words.”
After they walked away, I couldn’t help it but cry. This was the third time I was confronted by some stranger in public. I couldn’t take it. I was thinking, “Are we such a magnet for trouble?”
At first I was in agreement with SOME of her words but then anger overwhelmed everything else. HOW DARE SHE SPEAK TO ME ABOUT ADAT WEARING FBT SHORTS AND SINGLET?!!
And I didn’t even say anything about bringing friends and wanting to fight with her in public. I’m not that kind of person but she looks like that kind. And how was she going to call my parents?! Hey Mel, if you ever read this by some rare chance that you find my blog even though there could probably be thousands of people named SYUHADA in Singapore, you suck and I HOPE TO NEVER SEE YOU EVER AGAIN. You will never find out my parents numbers.
We understand that you have passions, don’t we all? WE NEVER SAID THERE’S ANYTHING WRONG WITH GIRLS PLAYING SOCCER. I suggest you find out the whole story from your team mate, yeah the one who called Zac he/she. Her jersey said her name was SYAQ.
We never called you small kids. And us being 15-year-olds are hardly kids. We’re teenagers just like you but as you said, you are OLDER. PLUS, being older don’t give you any more advantages than us, except that you can start smoking, drink alcohol and have legal sex. But that can hardly be applied here, can it since all of you are Malays, a race so easily associated with Islam which forbids us to drink or have premarital sex. Don’t think that just because you’re older, you can start calling us small kids.
I owe Farahin, she was so smart to say that (refer to above convo).
I hate being confronted.
FUCK THIS.
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Tags: life
